Nov 19, 2025
Fairfield Daily Republic
The Other Side
The world needs more daymakers
By Kelvin Wade
The other day I was parked outside a CVS waiting for Cathi to come out. She came out and immediately went to the back of my truck, fumbling around in the backseat.
She told me to wait just a minute and was off racing down the sidewalk. She’d seen a homeless woman and came and got a blanket and tent that we keep just for these purposes and gave them to her. The homeless woman was so overcome that she hugged her.
That's just the kind of heart Cathi has.
Last week, I got a phone call in the evening from an elderly friend who was in tears. Her roommate had left town for a couple nights and she had no food. She asked if I would go shopping for her. Slipping into my shoes I headed over and took her shopping list, went to the store and bought everything and even stopped by a restaurant to get her something to eat for dinner that evening. She hugged me and apologized for calling, but that was ridiculous. That’s what you do for people in need.
This basic kindness was modeled for me by my parents. I’ve told the story of the time I came home from Armijo High one day and told my mom that a classmate of mine had nothing to eat for lunch. She was so disturbed by that that she gave me extra lunch money for him or had me pack extra in my lunch for him to eat.
For years my brothers and I thought of our dad as a tightwad. He could be rather generous as long as you didn’t actually ask him for something. It both saddened me and moved me that at his funeral in 2003, people told me and my brothers that our dad would pay for kids’ school supplies and pay for them to go to camp.
It saddened me that I didn’t know this while he was alive. But the thing I loved most was that they did these things with no fanfare, seeking no recompense. It was just who they were.
This spirit of giving was also modeled to me by complete strangers. Years ago, one of my first jobs was picking strawberries at a farm in Vacaville. It was a blazing hot day and there we were picking strawberries, a bunch of probably undocumented Hispanic people and a fat black American kid.
It was backbreaking work under an oppressive sun. At lunch time, we all sat together and even though I spoke no Spanish and they spoke no English, they accepted me. They shared their food with me. I’ve never forgotten it. (I only lasted on that job a day so I have mad respect for what these hard workers do for us.)
Too often these days we look at who is deserving of help. For a lot of our fellow Americans there’s an empathy gap. Empathy is like a muscle and if it’s not used, it will atrophy.
A lot of people ascribe their giving nature to their religion and I can respect that. Some people feel the need to give back after achieving a certain amount of success. Some just have a philosophy of helping their fellow man. And me, well, if you’re a long time reader, you know my life’s philosophy comes from a Peanuts comic strip where Linus brings his sister Lucy a bowl of ice cream just to make her stay on the planet more pleasant.
I don’t know why that strip so profoundly moved me. Perhaps it was because Lucy was a mean sister yet her brother still wanted to do something nice for her. We all find ourselves alive together at this time and place in history, with hopes, fears, dreams and desires. Why not make someone’s stay a little nicer, a little happier?
I’m not going to tell you all of the little things I do for people because that’s not what it’s about. It’s not about keeping score or getting a pat on the back. I’m encouraging you to do the same. Be a daymaker.
For me, I’d radically changed my life in the last two and a half years through a pretty massive weight loss. It’s such a contrast for me thinking back to staying up late in the ICU scribbling my final thoughts in a notebook convinced I wouldn’t survive the night to now where I wake up every morning and look in the mirror and think, “I get to be here!”
I’m thinking about this because Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and we’re living at a time of maximum division. People are at each other's throats. People are struggling to make ends meet and there’s so much uncertainty in our country and in the world. There’s compassion fatigue and an empathy deficit and it seems like we’re all sitting on a powder keg ready to blow.
I don’t have all of the political, sociological and economic answers for people. But what I can do is do a small gesture for someone to improve their stay on the planet. Sometimes all they need is an ear to listen to them, a shoulder to lay their head on or a hug. Little things mean a lot, especially when you’re not keeping track of their immigration status, race, gender, religious or political views and just seeing the human being in front of you.
Give thanks by giving of yourself. I don’t even need the turkey and stuffing. Have a happy Thanksgiving. Peace.
Kelvin Wade, a writer and former Fairfield resident, lives in Sacramento. Reach him at kelvinjwade@outlook.com.
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